Okay, going to take another kick at the can with this one. See, guys always have so many questions as to why women seem to be so angry at men for whatever reason. We never can seem to comprehend their animosity about us and our contributions to marriage and society. What is patriarchy, why do they think our fore fathers have oppressed them when men in those days where hardly living high off the hog themselves.
I had tried to illuminate my own theory of the matter but it may have been too long (I’m also a blogging noob which doesn’t help matters) and not quite clear enough. I will try once more to show where I think women are coming from, why they are so frustrated, and I will even supply an example some guys may be able to relate too in order to possible shed light on where women are coming from and why they may feel the way they do. Understand that we as men don’t fathom the resulting pressure that women undergo due to gender dynamics. We understand that men and women differ in their wants, motivations, and ultimate desires, but I highly doubt either gender follows these ideas to either their logical conclusion, or perhaps even their logical inception.
What we need to examine are the dynamics, which are created between the genders and the accompanying pressures that result, which are unique to each sex. If you consider it, women don’t have much choice or control over their lives as opposed to men. In fact, because men have much more choice and control over their lives this frustrates women to no end. Understand, when I state women’s issues with male privilege and therefore male power, we’re not talking about institutional power for men. Yes as commenter stated, the average man doesn’t have institutional power, which is what confuses us at times.
No, we need to look at thinks from a different perspective.
First; equality, why do women seek it out? What is equality? Is it not two groups who meet and can exchange things fairly without any member from either side having an advantage over the other? Sounds fairly reasonable no? We’ve all been on the short end of the stick in many situations over the years, and there isn’t one person who will state that it doesn’t suck @$$.
How does this relate to men and women? Okay let’s start with a round table with men at one side, and women at the other. See both parties are discussing a deal, an exchange of their assets so a mutually beneficial conclusion can be sought. When I speak about an ‘arrangement’, I simply mean that both parties are pursuing their own interests in regards to the proposition both desire. In other words; these two parties may not be seeking exactly the same thing. Consider an auction or real estate for example. Two parties seek a transaction, but the goals of both couldn’t be any more different. One party is seeking the highest dollar they can, while the other is seeking the lowest. Diametrically opposed objectives are present during this negotiation even though we’re still talking about real estate. Now, if all things where equal for both parties, then neither side would have the upper hand, right?
This is the situation at hand; we know that there are outside aspects to life, which tend to affect these negotiations and sometimes give advantages of disadvantages to either side depending on the situation. If the seller has already purchased a house and is desperate to unload the current one, he has less room to negotiate the selling price up. Also, if a buyer has already sold their current home and must find another house for their family before closing, they too have external pressure in being more accepting of a higher price then they would like. Essentially, a persons choice and control over a the negotiations can sometimes be heavily affected by external factors which are outside of their control and therefore they must deal with them accordingly.
What does this have to do with men and women?
As said before, this arrangement starts off with an exchange of assets, what each gender wants and desires in the other, and what they are willing to trade for them. Seems pretty equal at this point, right? However, it’s the characteristics of these assets, which give men their leverage while putting women behind the 8 ball which is the source of their consternation. What we must understand everyone is that when women state they want ‘equality’ they really mean that they aren’t at a disadvantage to men in trying to achieve what it is they most desire. Over the next week I will post my take on the situation as to why women are so upset about sexual dynamics, and why they do not have equality while they negotiate for what it is they seek.