First off, Peter is one hell of a man and it pains me to think that a dude like that has been ripped off in this sham people refer to as the Family Courts in the West. His comment also took me back to my own younger days with my Ex. She had three kids and I was naive enough to stay with her, you know, ‘love would be enough’. While it did end badly just a few years later, I’d be lying if I said there weren’t many good times with all of them.
I was with my ex for just under 4 years and her three kids where 10, 12, and 14 at the time we split, so I was there for some key formative years apparently. When things where good, they where absolutely awesome and I can honestly say that before I met my wife, the happiest day in my life was playing with those three kids in the park with my ex smiling and watching the whole time.
I felt like I had it made, at the time anyway.
As time progressed and the kids got older, it started to really dawn on me just how important a role I may have played as the only father figure in their lives. Keyster made a comment on the Spearhead which stated that fathers are a stabilizing force on families, I can vouch that there is some truth to this.
Those kids ran my ex before I showed up, when I arrived on the scene (and took some time before asserting myself) then there was at least one other authority figure to assist in shouldering the burden of discipline. Heck, I’m not amazing, but kids will wear you down to get their way. Kids’ aren’t evil, far from it, they’re just kids and they can smell your weakness in terms of giving in to their desires. They don’t know that what they are doing is rude, they just want to get that gift, play outside, play Xbox and if they feel you will relent, they will simply up the pace sensing victory.
I can remember one particular choir performance that my ex’s eldest, M, performed at one day. I dressed up, 2-piece suit and all, plus I made sure to tell him why. “I was representing him at that Choir or any school function and I had to let them know where it was he came from!” My ex and I told him. I was sick and tired of all the Black people who seemed to be so absent with their kid’s lives and didn’t seem to give a rat’s @$$!! They weren’t mine but like h&ll I was going to let this chance drop. As the performance started, I noticed that M seemed to be feeling a little nervous and he looked over at his mom and I. He looked me dead in the eye as I smiled at him, and that seemed to settle him down.
I never forgot that.
I can remember when my ex’s daughter, T, returned from vacation in Jamaica and ran down the gangway and jumped into my arms before anyone else.
I never forgot that either.
See, my ex was a product of a single mother (surprise, surprise) and I was well aware of how that sort of action can set a very negative precedent in terms of children. In fact, the day I had met my ex’s family it was a dinner party with her mother, her step dad, her older sister, and two of her childhood friends. I sat there at the table and took stock of what I saw; my ex; single mom, 3 kids. Her sister, single mom, 4 kids BUT engaged to the father. One family friend; single mom, one kid, bf nowhere to be seen while the last family friend had no kids.
This living, breathing example of precedent wasn’t lost on me and it began to hit me that this pattern had to stop. All of these women had the exact same thing in common, FATHERLESSNESS and seeing at the time that I didn’t want to break up with my ex, that I knew I may be able to stop this pattern from repeating itself. Fatherlessness affects men and women differently; it creates thugs from young men and thug lovers from women. I didn’t want M, T, or F to end up with babies or in jail if I could do something about it.
This is where I get upset.
M also updated me about T, his exact words where that ‘She’s followed in Mom’s footsteps’.
My heart sank; my ex had M when she was 16 years old!!
At this stage of the game, T is 17 years old and has a 2-year-old child, she’s no longer with the Dad but she is still going to school, which is something. My worst fear from years ago had been realized; my ex became a grandmother at the ripe old age of 37.
I wish this story had a happy ending; I wish those kids end up doing okay for themselves in this life. I have my own family now, which is my responsibility, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. My own step daughter is now 17 and is currently kid free (sad to think that this is something to strive for but trust me..) however I sometimes wonder what if? Had I stayed (and put up with some bullsh!t treatment) would that have affected the lives of those kids in a positive manner? Would T be a teenaged mother now? Would F have followed in his older brother’s footsteps?
It seems that there was a void left in the lives of those kids after their mom and I split ways and when I ran into T a few years ago, she didn’t even know why I had initially left. I left because her mother was cheating on me, but I can’t tell her that! I will never forget the expression on her face when I grabbed the last of my things and left for the last time, that hurt in ways I cannot describe, it still does all these years later.
Yet fathers are useless and mothers are everything. Men are rapists and predators who have to be supervised before they molest or abuse your children and mothers are angels who keep children safe from harm. If a child has a mother, that’s just as good as a mother and a father.
Let me say one thing that yes, I’m a very angry person. I’m p!ssed off by what Feminism is doing to society and I’m p!ssed off that my own race has been decimated by it’s asinine teachings and erroneous conclusions. My ex followed her mother’s example and T followed my ex’s. What’s going to happen to that young baby being raised by a child herself? What’s going to happen to T as life goes on?
And all the while Feminists rationalize away factual evidence that children need their father’s example and guidance. This isn’t just some post on a freakin’ page, we’re talking about LIVES here!!! The destruction of the family has so many victims and so much collateral damage it’s indescribable. Remember, kids don’t ask to be born!!! I couldn’t step up for those kids, they weren’t mine and I had no say in the matter yet I now see how the denigration of fathers has affected one particular family negatively for three generations!!!
I’ll be honest that sometimes I get a little out of hand when responding to certain comments on blogs. I’m reigning that sh!t back in as my ‘behavior’ is obviously not helping the MRA cause. However, I have no forgiveness for Feminism and what it’s done and continues to do to society.