Just read this post from Grerp and to be honest, I think she really does have a good point in terms of the Manosphere as of late. It can be said that the attitude men display (and yours truly has been guilty of this as well) has been ramping up as of late and possibly taken a path not unlike that of our Feminist detractors. It has been said many a time that the Manosphere is it’s own worst enemy, scaring off potential supporters by extreme hyperbole and simple hatred of women.
Men need all the assistance, which is available at this time; there really is no such thing as a surplus support as far as Men’s Rights goes.
However, why such caustic positions from men? Why all the nihilism and exaggeration of the MGTOW position when seeking out MRA websites and blogs? In fact on this article on The Spearhead, some commenters took a female article writer to task. The article was good and was actually illuminating on how women can be abusive behind closed doors. I didn’t agree with the positions of many of the commenters there but one named GT66 really got my attention and summed up my thoughts exactly on why many NAM are so aggressive as of late. He was commenting in regards to the anti women sentiment the author who went by Izzey was receiving from the Spearhead regulars.
“You wanted to hate me.”
“That is woman talk. Not trusting you is NOT hating you. Who the hell here even knows you to hate you. However, it is the height of arrogance to think you can walk into the midst of this crowd and think they’ll gather to you with hands and hearts held out. Why the immediacy of your need get validation from this group of castaways anyway? I don’t get it and that and your gender, is at the core of my distrust.
Do you really not get what is happening here? Your comments esp the ones about hate and enemies lead me to believe that you are grossly ignorant of what sites like this are to some men. This and a few other sites are the equivalent of battered men’s shelters that don’t exist in the brick and mortar world. Do you really not understand that you are as comforting to a man here as a man would be to a woman in a battered women’s shelter? No one trusts you because we can’t trust you and for many, we don’t want to trust you at least not right now. Do you really not see that? Do you maybe now understand the response? Can you accept that hate has nothing to do with it and trust and pain everything? Can you understand that after the last forty years, the last thing a man needs to hear from a woman is “I know how it is?”
Do your volunteer work. Be motivated by whatever motivates you. If you really do care and really do sympathize with men then that’s all that’s necessary. And right now, that’s maybe all that many men are prepared to tolerate from a woman regardless of her well meaning. But honestly, drop the hate thing. It’s not true, and it puts you and us in the same female victim vs. big bad male roles that feminists have been hammering both genders into for so, so long now. That, obviously, does little to build the trust you want us to have in you.”
Spot on GT66, men aren’t going to say it but the truth is that NAM are one thing and one thing above all else.
They are hurting.
Man are in pain right now because they are being treated like slaves and they know it. They are being treated with no more reverence or respect than an object to be used and possibly discarded when exhausted. Furthermore, they are surprised when the arena they where told existed to air their concerns due to the ‘equality’ women fight for so much is nothing but a paper tiger used as means to brow beat them back into submission while the issue which brought them to this point initially is not only unsolved, but possibly aggravated.
Men are reacting, their reason, their rationale and their logic has been torn to shreds and is slowly but surely being replaced with anger. Is it right? Absolutely not and I will be the first person to say it. However, the main thing is what to do now? As a black man in North America, I know full well about getting your back up and protecting yourself because you know that you are ‘the little fish in a big pond’ and you have a target on your back from others. However, the one thing which I get more convinced of every day is that White Men in Western Countries are now facing this very same situation as they realize that the people who say they are on their side are the very same ones who have a knife poised at your back.
Like I had stated in my last post, this is only self preservation, it isn’t right, it isn’t moral, and it isn’t politically correct and in some cases, I really don’t agree with it, but how long can you kick a dog before it tries to rip your foot off? No matter what, that dog is finally going to register that you aren’t a friend but an enemy and now it will have to defend itself AGAINST you, it isn’t a matter of IF it will happen, but WHEN will it happen and we are starting to see the slow boil which feminism has been creating in men start to reach a critical point. What some of us fail to realize is that men are getting attacked every single day, their masculinity is denigrated, their innovations and contributions undermined and ignored, and their motivations investigated for foul play before they even open their mouths. Every day men are facing affronts to their existence and before the old wounds can even heal, new wounds are opened up and exacerbated.
Hey, some men have what most men would die for, a family, which loves and cares for them and doesn’t act as if he is a walking ATM machine, but some don’t. What I mean by my last statement is more than just words on an electric page, I mean take a look at your family, the kids you love, your wife who you adore and met so many years ago and then imagine them being ripped away from your life and having a court justice stand over you, belting out a sentence that you may only be able to afford if you reduce your sleeping patterns drastically and then wonder how you would you feel then?
It’s so easy to think that other men just need to ‘man up’ when you have your family with you and they kiss you good night and say “I love you Daddy” before they disappear up the stairs, knowing full well that you will see them tomorrow morning. What would happen if you where reduced to a room in a house and most of your paycheque went to those same kids and you never heard their voices except for an hour every night on the phone? How acceptable would you be if on your children’s birthdays or your wedding anniversary instead of blowing out candles and seeing the smiling faces of your family you are instead looking at the same 4 walls you looked at the night before and watching the lions share of your money going to someone you would love to even see, but your not allowed at the moment by court order? How reasonable do you think you’d be then?
This is reality for some men, not me as I have no kids, but many men face this every day and other single men see it and want no part of that sort of pain. I wouldn’t wish this sort of thing on any man, not even my worst enemy.
This is the Gordian Knot that the Manosphere faces, men are P!SSED at what’s currently happening, and p!ssed that simply telling women what the deal is a fools errand. While some of the attitudes which are displayed on the manoshere are actually counter productive, the reality is that I simply cannot blame men for reacting the way they currently do. They tried the ‘nice’ route for years and got nothing but ‘sand kicked in their faces’ for their trouble. I’d really like to see more reasoned responses in the Manosphere, but I too also can get my knickers in a twist at the best of times so I’m really preaching to the choir at this point.
We don’t want to get to the point where MRA’s are just male versions of feminists, but in order to do so men may have to put aside their hostility for the current regime. In my honest opinion, that will be far easier said than done (if it can even BE done) as the long fuse has already been lit and men’s patience has been worn very thin.