Simply not in the mood right now to lie down and take it. I know that I have always said to ignore the stupidity of the foolish, but this time, I had simply had enough. On a great blog post by Grerp, a commenter decided to address me. My reply was too long to post there, (and believe me, I tried) so here it is.
I just couldn’t let sleeping dogs lie.
“If these beta guys need an incentive to be “nice,” it sounds like they weren’t really that “nice” to begin with. You make it sound as though women have a choice between open jerks (alphas) and secret jerks (betas).”
And you would know because you where a guy and had to grow up with misandristic laws and society, right? I was one of those nice guys years ago. While I’m not exactly an alpha jerk now (happily married) I must say that I do not trust many women further than I can throw them. And there you are making ALL men sound like jerks. It never occurred to you that perhaps men did actually try and listen to the advice women gave them and moreover, that possibly women are the ones in the wrong? Good for you, egalitarian, try again. Please keep proving me right, you’re making my job so much easier.
“In the world I live in, most guys seem to be pretty darn nice, including and perhaps especially the ones who are successful with women. The thing that makes some men more attractive than others (assuming we control for good looks) is confidence. Confidence is sexy. But you can be confident without being domineering or selfish.”
This I’m learning and I have to agree with you on this one point in regards to confidence. As for being nice, right, try again, been there, done that, bodysurfed that concert. Not true, sorry. The issue I have is the world you live in, of course. You said it, not me, and all anyone needs to do is go to Dalrock’s Blog and read your comments, they can see real well the world you live in.
“I know you will tell me that I am wrong, that women secretly want to be dominated and abused by jerks. But that’s a steaming pile of manure. It’s a self-serving story that lonely men tell themselves to make themselves feel good about being rejected by women. It’s a lot easier to believe that women just don’t appreciate what a good guy you are than it is to take responsibility for poor social skills or to accept that there may be features of your looks or personality that are less than attractive to the people you want to sleep with or date or marry. (And no, I am not trying to “shame” you. I don’t think success with the opposite sex need be the measure of a person’s worth.)”
Hey, how about you take a look out the window and see the huge amount of women who traipse around with the lowliest of men and leave the ‘nice guys’ alone, hmm?
Let me tell you this one thing, when you try to skew information that the average person can see for themselves, the only thing which happens is that your integrity takes a bath, period. You are the one who is projecting, and this isn’t the first time I have seen you do this either. I mean, you have women crowing over convicts for crying out loud, risking their lives in the stupidest ways possible. In Mala Fide has their stupid woman of the month award and I can say in all honesty that I have encountered women like this in my own life. So Ferdinand can’t get women, is that what you are saying?
Integrity, meet water. Rinse and repeat, right.
Not trying to shame me, nicely veiled, well maybe. And, for your information, I’m married, happily at that. You know nothing about being a man, yet you are trying to tell me about what it may have been that I have done wrong? Once more, how about listening, God, or Nature, whatever you choose to believe, gave you two eyes, two ears, and one mouth.
Get the picture?
If you had paid even a little attention to what it is that men are ‘yammering’ about, you would actually see that there is just a little truth in what it is they are all collectively saying. I can see maybe 20% of guys complaining about this situation, and then I would have to say that they should man up. Yet we have a whole sphere of influence growing everyday which is saying the same thing that maybe women are the problem. Yet you are more concerned about how men are getting things wrong so you can protect women and the sisterhood.
This is the reason why feminism is losing legitimacy; you are making it clear that equality ISN’T your main goal. Guess what, others can see it too, I’m not the only one who has debated you in the past and I can tell you right now, I won’t be the last.
Maybe it’s you who is wrong, ever considered that?
“I realize that being rejected is very hard. (Newsflash – women get rejected too.) On the other hand, it is not the same thing as having sand kicked in your face. It is not something evil women are doing TO you. Part of being mature is accepting that other people have a right to live their lives in ways that may not include you.”
That’s insulting, how about you take your own advice in regards to this huh? Sand in my face? Let me tell you a little something. In the Misandry Bubble written by TFH, he wrote about the previous ‘male-defenders’ of women who get fed up and then turn their backs due to all the abuse they take.
I was one of those.
I purchased books, tapes, watched videos, and listened and learned to everything I could in order to understand women so I could ‘alleviate their suffering’. I made sure I went above and beyond for the women in my life (one at a time, just to make that clear) and made sure I was meeting their needs. I had heard many a time about the jerks out there who didn’t do this and I swore I wasn’t going to be one of them.
There is absolutely no way I can describe to you the shock when I realized that women in the aggregate wouldn’t do the same thing for us men, while still demanding that we continue this very same behavior. Let me tell you this; men like me are the worst people for you to be talking to, because we see the sham of Feminism for what it is. We tried to understand you just so we could improve the situations between women and men and all we got was sand kicked in our faces, and I did, oh yes, I did. I know now that no matter what it is that we do, we are always on the hook. If this is the case, then where is your responsiblity.
Feminism has lost it’s legitimacy. Your posts here prove that point and in reality, they always have. Instead of speaking about women and how they may have dropped the ball, you speak to men about how they may have. You ladies all wanted the ball, you will have to take the heat sometimes, deal with it.
“Don’t forget that this goes for women too. If I suddenly found myself single, I wouldn’t have a right to blame hot guys for not wanting to date my 40-year-old ass or for failing to appreciate how nice I am.”
Let me tell you about the women I respect. I’ve only been on the manosphere for a short time and been blogging for far shorter and the amount of women I really and truly respect has only grown by one or two since I started. There is a very small group which shows their integrity every time they show up to a blog and post their opinion. Grerp, Hestia, Susan Walsh, Thag Jones, Dream Puppy (I’ve seen your posts at Dalrock, you have my respect) and a Spearhead poster who goes by Crella. I drop their names quite a bit because they surprise me at their integrity during a time where they could simply join the crowd of entitlement and they choose not to. If a man screws up, they will state it, but if a woman screws up, they will state that too. Not as an afterthought and with no use of the rationalization hamster. Your last address of ‘it goes for women too’ was a late addition. Men are going through issues and you offer this as an afterthought?
At the end of the day, would you like to know why we are in this mess? It’s because when men start off with saying what the issues are with society, women like you state the stuff you have. The truth is that when it comes to feminism, there were still men who LISTENED when women complained, and then LISTENED when they said they had enough. Then they assisted when the going got tough, even if it was in the background. Heck, I’ve been there and done that, my wife had to correct her daughter about telling her that slavery wouldn’t have been abolished if not for some sympathetic white people who helped them. She told her NOT to ‘hate on’ white people because of this. You think Feminism got and stayed here just because of women and women alone? The people ‘below’ always got a helping hand from the people, ABOVE.
I’m still waiting for strident feminists like you to listen. I’m not holding my breath. I did, and so many other men did as well. Our payment; sand in our faces. So please, do not insult our intelligence about how we may have screwed up in the past, we know where we did thank you, the question is, do you?