As I’ve stated many times on The Phantom Tollbooth, I’m utterly in awe over the differences between the genders and how these same differences shape our consequences in rather unique ways during life. The one thing in particular which always grabs my attention; the way Father Time seems to be much more forgiving on us dudez than he is on the womenz. Take it for what it’s worth, but I find it utterly astounding that a man in his late 30’s may not be out of ‘the race’ yet in terms of the dating/marriage market but a woman of the same lineage may be far closer to folding the deck that she would like to admit.
In addition, just how far removed from reality most women tend to be nowadays in terms of this potentially severe situation unique to their gender. More importantly, how many of them rocket to a dismal future with little to no regard as to what it is they are actually doing to themselves in the process.
I’ve always wondered as to what is going through a young woman’s mind, as she’s knee deep in her heady days of high market value, yet embarking on a future which odds are will set her up for a future fraught with loneliness and more cats than your local humane society. I have to thank Sunshine Mary for illuminating such thoughts for our consideration in one of her latest posts.
I would suggest that you read the whole thing; her analysis of the situation is empathetic, sobering, and above all spot on. This quote from the ‘heroine’ of the article, who went by the handle of “A” had my head literally spinning as I read it.
I’m a true feminist,” she added. “I’m a strong woman. I know what I want… Ten years from now, no one will remember — I will not remember — who I have slept with,” A. said. “But I will remember, like, my transcript, because it’s still there. I will remember what I did. I will remember my accomplishments and places my name is hung on campus.
Really? Listen, as I’ve stated before, I’m not for pigeonholing women into certain roles, and why would I when women are doing this so effectively all on their own? Most women want to get married, but are so high on themselves at a young age they don’t see the forest for the trees. We don’t need statistics to tell us that when women are at the SMV peak (15 – 25) men are like buses. It doesn’t matter if they turn an approaching man down, there WILL be another along in a few minutes. The issue is that many women aren’t schooled in how men work in relation to their diminishing market value.
No, women in the past would have taken them to task for being so foolish. Giving them the very painful but much needed truth in order to better preserve their uncertain futures. The issue is that the older generational women needed to show them the way has been perverted for selfish reasons and young women by and large are left to their own devices.
What I find so interesting about the above quote, that this woman, and so many of her compatriots, are so completely ignorant of the consequences their actions will wreak on their respective futures. As we all know (or should by this point) negative consequences won’t come to pass for her at THIS point, they only happen to other people. She’s deep in the days where she has a regular FWB and men are probably hitting her up on a weekly basis. She has no inkling whatsoever that the parade of men coming into her life will ever stop so she has nothing to lose, thereby having no incentive to change her ways.
However, that escalator of men DOES stop eventually so let’s take a look at what former blogger Troll King had to say to see where A’s future most likely will end up.
I smell some projection that could be cut like a hot knife through butter. It is kinda interesting to look at baby boomer feminists these days. My mom is one. So are all of her friends. So, I have been around them and heard them gossip about things and I have seen their life paths dwindle as I grew up. Most are divorced and don’t have good relationships with their children. Many desperately want attention, whether it is from showing off their meager career success or from pestering their kids, assuming they have any or any that aren’t dead from suicide, for grandkids.
What is really fascinating is how much they mellow out as they age. Their stories of putting on pant suits with thick pads in the shoulders to give themselves more masculine authority while fighting “the man” at work gives way to a sorta sad (if I gave a shit about those evil cunts I would think it was sad) realization that their lives were empty and hollow and fueled by something hazey irrationality that can really only be classified as some sort of mental illness that started to fade after they took off the padded pant-suit jackets (do you guys remember those from the 80s and 90s? My mom used to wear them all the time and so did all the women she knew and now they all dress much more conservatively…interesting eh?) and stopped trying to be men 24/7.
Again, that entire section is nothing but projection that is not just about her but applies to the majority of baby boomer feminists.”
Take another look at that folks.
We have older more mature women who had sacrificed for career and when it was all over they found themselves chock full of accolades and virtually alone. What did those accomplishments give them at the end of the day? Where did the value of those accolades go now that their youth has given way to maturity? Yes this is only ONE anecdote in regards to women, however Troll King’s Mother and her friends aren’t alone.
We have Liz Bollick, who has a career in entertainment yet was still vexed at ‘the system’ because she chose freedom and her career over marriage to her former fiancée. He moved on and married without her, but at least she still has her career.
As one of my female and engaged co worker’s would say; “Oopie!”
Then we have the illustrious Germaine Greer; ‘the saucy feminist that even men liked”; who eventually became a surly older woman when all she had left WAS her previous accolades. I’m willing to bet that Germaine is probably more successful that A will ever be; yet that didn’t keep her from being alone. Maybe Ms. Greer’s brusqueness has arisen from such loneliness. Perhaps, but could it possibly be that her surliness has cropped up from the knowledge that her own choices have lead her to her current (and irreversible) fate with the pained knowledge that she and she alone had the power to have altered things for the better?
Finally (for this example) we have the illustrious Liz Jones and her current soul mate ‘Squeaky’. She actually had her own nuptials at one point in time and enjoyed wedded bliss for a scant 4 years. In the end, her own unwavering (bitchy?) attitude seemed to assist in the undermining of said marital arrangement and now she finds herself in a resolute relationship…with a four legged feline. This should offer no worries to A as Liz still has an memorable career in journalism in which she can find her absolution.
Right, had anyone read the part about how she tried to get pregnant by stealing her partner’s sperm as she was entitled to it? C’mon…it’s fantastic and deathly intriguing!!!
A is gung ho about her future achievements, that even if she doesn’t find love she will have her professional accomplishments to fall back on for satisfaction. In truth I really have no issue with this as far as women go, however, when we took a look at some women who had taken this very same approach to life, the results seemed very sobering. Gotta wonder as a woman how it would feel to come to the point of no return, with a sack full of career accomplishments, and none of those even turn an eligible man’s heads. To be seen as nothing but a cog in the wheel, a tool to be used by company’s and nothing more beyond that.
Here’s a scenario for you; imagine a late 30’s , single career woman going out to dinner with her male co workers at an eatery. They talk shop as they sit down and look at the menu when an attractive 20 something waitress arrives to take their order. Imagine the consternation said career woman feels as this waif of a woman with nary the education, experience, or accolades our ‘heroine’ has achieved seems to garner the attention of all the men at the table while she is left reeling. What’s the deal gang; that her accomplishments do not translate whatsoever into the dating market, and she wallows in frustration as this woman who is younger, more approachable, and more ladylike grabs all the attention that she hasn’t seen in quite some time.
The bottom line; while a career is ALMOST as good a thing to a woman as it is to a man, the issue is simply this. A man having a very good career almost always adds to his SMV/MMV, while it virtually always detracts from a woman’s. I bet money that this scenario or something very similar to it happens in Western Countries almost every day as women measure up their stock and realize that a younger, more ladylike woman trumps her amazing professional resume in the dating market.
I find this whole thing ironic as A is unwittingly giving us a glimpse of what Liz Bollick’s, Germaine Greer’s, and Liz Jones’ thought process looked like way back when they still had significant time on the clock. It’s utterly mind boggling to see someone so dead set on doing something, which will ultimately undermine their own values go balls to the wall in doing so.